by Jenny O'Haver
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Stage parents are really great. Well, most of them anyway.
Recently I cast several spots for a national restaurant chain. Among other roles, the casting specs included a 5-7 year old boy.
Now, whenever we cast kids the lobby tends to get overfull. It happens because with each child you schedule there is at least one adult who accompanies the little actor, and often their brothers and sisters (or cousins, neighbors, etc) who, for various reasons, have to come along for the ride. So for the one child you have scheduled to audition, you may get anywhere from 2 - 5 people in the waiting room. This inherent lobby pandemonium can add to everyone's stress, especially the kids who are there to audition.
During this particular session, in between auditioning the children, I stepped out of the sound proofed studio and waded through the mass of loud, waist high humanity, in search of a much needed cup of coffee with cream (not milk) and honey. As I made my way back through the lobby, warm elixir in hand, I overheard one mother talking to her young son. "I'm taking time off work to bring you here. If you mess up again, you're in big trouble!" The boy stood with bent shoulders in front of her. I could barely see his face underneath the dark curly mop of hair. I hated hearing that kind of comment but unfortunately it happens more than it should.
Back in the studio, the session was going smoothly. My assistant kept the auditions flowing by bringing the kids in one at a time to audition for me. After a few had come and gone, she opened the door to bring in the next little actor but then turned around to see that the child she thought was behind her had disappeared. She stepped back out into the lobby looking for the boy who should have followed her in. A couple minutes later she came back, then several beats later the boy with the dark curly hair ambled slowly through the door. He seemed to want to take as long as possible getting into the studio.
I greeted him in my normal friendly way. Seeing that he was uncomfortable I knelt down on one knee to get at his eye level and reached out my hand to introduce myself. Almost immediately he wet his pants. Literally. A puddle formed on the wooden floor around his feet and he started to cry.
"Don't worry, honey." I said. "Let me get your mom," and I started to stand.
"No!" he said. "She'll be so mad."
"It's OK." I tried to reassure him. "Accidents happen. You can get cleaned up and come back in when you're ready."
He shook his head. "I don't want to."
"You don't want to audition?" I asked.
"No, but my mommy makes me." He answered.
That was no surprise.
This was the first and only time a child wet his pants in my studio but many kids come in dragging their feet. Clearly, they don't want to be there and their performance shows it. The kids that love it, do well. Those that are being pressured to audition by their parents rarely give a good performance. When I ask them if they like auditioning, so often they say they'd rather be outside playing soccer or with their friends.
My advice? Let acting be child led. If your little one has a passion for it, great! Support them. But parents, don't live vicariously through your kids. And if they once wanted to act but have lost their interest in it, don't make them keep it up. It'll end up being a waste of their time, your time and my time.
Any stage parents out their have thoughts on this? I welcome your comments!
Photo by David Castillo Dominici


